Submarine had the hilarious temerity to even go ahead early on, before a quick-fire Oli Jones hat-trick turned the tables. Submarine got a goal back from a well-worked freekick, and threatened to draw level, with only the goal keeping heroics of Tarn Willers and some last ditch defending keeping them out.

But Veras were in no mood to fanny about: A beautifully flighted Andre Lazos corner found Barney Thomas at the front stick who buried his header, before the two linked up again for a mirror image goal from the other corner, putting the Veras 5 – 2 up at halftime.

The Veras’ pressure was unremitting in the second half, as Submarine utterly capitulated under an onslaught of Veras’ attacks. Not so much shooting fish in a barrel as shooting lemmings as they jump off a cliff: if you miss, they’re still going to die. Tenuous metaphors aside, the Veras were irresistible in the second half with Thomas rounding off his man of the match performance by completing his hat-trick; Jones netted two more to take his tally to 14 goals in his last five games, while Tommy Fyans and Dave Romain completed the bludgeoning with a goal apiece.

Veras started the match strongly, before a well struck Submarine shot on the edge of the Veras’ box found the bottom corner.

Lazos picked up the first of his half-a-dozen assists for the day 5 minutes later, sliding in Jones who left the keeper with no chance hitting a crisp drive into the bottom right hand corner.

And Veras were ahead two minutes later as Johnny Erdman, playing in the hole, slipped a through ball to Jones who dummied the keeper, before firing home from an acute angle into an empty net.

Jones completed his hat-trick five minutes later, after some sumptuous interplay in midfield culminated with a rasping drive from Erdman which the Submarine keeper could only parry into the path of an on-rushing Jones to tap home.

Submarine then had their best spell of the game putting the stout Veras defence under pressure for the first time in the match. A shocking decision from the referee gave Submarine a freekick on the edge of the area, for what was quite clearly a superb challenge.

Willers did superbly to palm the resulting freekick onto the post, only for it to drop to a Submarine forward to dispatch the rebound.

Willers was there again to save from a goal mouth scramble two minutes later, before Duncan Meadows cleared off the line from the follow up.

The Veras were in devastating form going forward with Al Fitch providing the anchor in midfield, while Thomas pulled the strings, playing in Romain and Lazos on the wings who looked dangerous every time they got the ball.

The Veras took control of the game as the half wore on, Romain created a great chance for Jones to get his forth, only for the keeper to save with his face from close range.

From the resulting corner, Lazos fired a ball to the front stick to Thomas, who, stepping away from his man, sailed through the air to meet the ball with a bullet header which found the top corner.

Two minutes later Lazos and Thomas repeated their routine from the opposite corner with a carbon copy cross and header ending with the same result, leaving the Veras three goals to the good at halftime.

The second half started where the first left-off (as is traditional). The Veras’ football was utterly irresistible, as the midfield scythed through Submarine at will, while a rock solid back four disassembled any semblance of a Submarine attack.

The Veras’ fearsome centre-back Tommies: Derbyshire and Fyans, who have forged a classic partnership this season, were winning everything in the air, while the outlet play of fullbacks Meadows, Dan Swimer and Darren Whitehead opened up space all over the pitch for the Veras’ attacks.

It was only a matter of time before the Veras extended their lead. With Lazos once again the catalyst, picking up yet another assist, whipping in a corner which found Fyans who dispatched a venomous volley from eight yards out.

Three minutes later, Duncan played in Jones on the right wing who crossed to Thomas, who did superbly to control the ball from behind him, swivel and dispatch a drive into the bottom corner.

Thomas returned the favour playing in Jones for his fourth goal two minutes later, floating a lobbed through ball which Jones dispatched on the rise.

Dave Romain, in scintillating form on the wing, whipped in a cross for the Vera’s ninth goal five minutes later, as Erdman nodded down for Jones who was left with a simple finish to net his fifth.

Jones was in again two minutes later, latching on to a perfectly weighted through ball from Fitch; a last ditch Submarine tackle served only to leave it on a plate for Romain who rifled home a thoroughly deserved goal to bring up the double figures.

The Veras display is sure to have fellow quarter finalists quaking in their boots, especially considering Submarine have beaten a number of the league’s top teams left in the draw.

A glorious day that will live long in the memory of Veras new and old.

Erdman for England manager? It’s certainly alliterative enough.

A win by three goals would take them top with two games in hand. Some optimistic early team chat about the league’s new “mercy” rule was tempered by the shambolic late arrival of a Tigers team with only eight players.

In the name of football and fair play the Veras gallantly relinquished three players to turn out for their opposition.

Dan Swimer, Henry Thomas and Toby Saul, all put in sterling performances for the Tigers, in a frustrating first half for the Veras who were denied a nailed-on early penalty when Thomas brought down Oli Jones just inside the box.

Jones, clearly reeling from this injustice, then missed a startling succession of seemingly golden chances. However, closer, first person experience, would indicate that each opportunity was, in its own way, deceptively difficult.

However, it is probably also fair to say, he had a nightmare; reports that he was seen at half time pinching himself, muttering the words, “I just can’t wake up,” remain as yet unconfirmed.

After 30 minutes of the half, with Jones prone in the foetal position on the edge of the penalty area seemingly undergoing some sort of acute psychological breakdown after scuffing his 50th shot high and wide, The Veras created a chance for someone other than the apparently dyspraxic striker.

Johnny Erdman neatly flicked a pass into the path of marauding midfielder Barney Thomas who hit the first meaningful shot of the match just wide.

The Veras backline was seldom troubled in the half, as Tom Fyans and Tom Walker, mopped up any lose balls that came their way, while the Lynns’ midfield tripartite of Thomas, Tom Derbyshire, and Neil Kochane, kept the ball firmly in the Tigers half, unleashing the destructive Erdman and Dan Lichman down the wings.

Veras’ frustration continued for the 15 minutes of the second half before they nally got their breakthrough, a slide-rule pass from Thomas found Jones, who slipped it passed the advancing keeper, finding an on-rushing Erdman who made sure from two yards out.

Thomas then got his second assist of the game, his shot looping off the keeper into the path of Jones who cocked it in with his groin from about a foot.

Two up and coasting the Veras thought the game was won, switching off as the Tiger’s diminutive forward pulled a goal back with a great strike.

An improbable Tigers’ comeback appeared to be on the cards, when Tiger-for-a-day Dave Krikler, who’d swapped sides at half time, sprung the offside trap and chipped in an exquisite equaliser.

With just five minutes left on the clock, a route one ball from Tom Derbyshire, landed in Jones’s lap and with just the keeper to beat he nonchalantly side-footed it home.

Having surrendered one lead, The Veras looked determined to protect this one, crafting a couple more openings in quick succession, Lichman hitting the post from a well-excuted swivelling shot, and a Kochane strike was blocked.

The Veras finally made sure of win in injury time after a cross from Lichman found Erdman at the front post whose flick on found Oli Jones at the back stick who nodded home, possibly catching a slight deflection of John Levene, deputising as the Tigers’ rightback.

Not by any means Vintage Veras, but some strong individual performance were somewhat undermined by Jones’s finishing. He might well be having Nam flashbacks about this day for some time to come, despite netting his first Veras hat trick.

More importantly The Veras head into the winter break unbeaten in all competitions and having won every game in the league.

The Veras were without their talismanic player/manager and leading scorer, Johnny Erdman, after he picked up a shoulder injury after a cynical challenge in last week’s frenetic cup tie with AC Camden. Nevertheless they made light work of a disorganised Music Choice eleven.

A Yeboah-esque volley from Tommy Fyans made it 1-0 with 20 minutes gone before Dave Romain, back from penning Eurozone debt crisis legislation, tip-toed his way through the Music Choice defence only to be scythed down by an appalling tackle.

Oli Jones converted the resulting penalty before grabbing a brace with a stooping header from a superb cross from Dave Krikler with 15 minutes to go in the second half.

It was nothing short of a masterclass from the Veras who dominated for virtually the full 90 minutes. The Vera’s centre midfield tripartite of Neil Kochane, Barney Thomas and Al Fitch didn’t give Music Choice so much as a sniff, while Tommy and centre back partner Guy gleefully mopped up the long balls Music Choice were forced to resort to.

Veras began the match in fierce fashion, pinning Music Choice in their half, and it wasn’t long before the pressure told. Romain forcing a corner after some good link up play with debutant Duncan at right-back.

Romain fizzed the ball to the back stick where Veras won the initial header before a limp clearance saw the ball bounce out to Tommy who left spectators wondering whether his second name ought to be Gun, such was the explosiveness of his strike, which thundered off the underside of the bar and over the line.

Barney, pulling the strings in midfield again, released Romain with an expertly weighted ball before a one-two with Duncan saw him dance past two defenders before a brutal, vicious, horrendous tackle which came really quite close to actually touching him, sent him sprawling.

Music Choice were outraged but it didn’t perturb Jones who made it two-from-two from penalty spot this season with a bludgeoning drive straight down the middle.

Veras continued to dictate play and caused havoc down the flanks with superb work from Mike Diamond and Henry Thomas on the left forcing a mistake from the keeper, before a good recovering save prevented Henry picking up his first goal of this year’s campaign.

Rich Mansell was introduced and added some steel to see out the half, while Neil, who was like wrecking ball, smashing any semblance of an attack Music Choice tried to muster, picked up a yellow card for an unlucky late tackle

The Veras had their typical lapse of concentration at the start of the second half, but under strict instructions from Tommy, screwed their heads back on and pressured Music Choice superbly, who were forced into playing possession football in their own penalty area.

The Veras looked sure to add to their lead and duly did when Krikler, who had a great impact on on the left wing, whipped in a devilish cross, which found the head of Jones, who was basically lying down by the time he got his ample forehead to the ball, sending it squirting over the line.

The referee, probably feeling sorry for Music Choice, awarded them a controversial penalty with 10 minutes to go. Music Choice’s chubby centre forward stepped up and tamely dribbled it wide, probably intimidated by Ben’s enviable, and superbly waxed Regency tash.

Ben was forced into a superb save a couple of minutes later after the only real attack Music Choice managed in the whole game, diving to his left to palm away a dipping drive.

Jones had the chance to seal his first Veras hat-trick with five minute to go after a glorious through-ball from Barney, but after shrugging of their centre back he scuffed his shot wide.

The Veras continued to make chances but eventually ran out comfortable 3-0 winners.

Whispers at the final whistle that Stan Kroenke has been tapping up Veras mastermind Erdman to take over at Arsenal can be called at worst, definitely fact.

Two debut goals from the Veras’ fearsome left wing partnership — full back Christopher and winger Alex — and a penalty rebound from Oli settled a match that never seemed far from the Veras’ control.

Submarine will have been buoyed before the match by the absence of half-a-dozen first team regulars, sourcing diamonds in Antwerp and molesting gap year students in Argentina respectively, the Veras starting side was hardly recognisable.

But Submarines’ hope was short-lived as it became apparent early-on that despite not having played together before the Veras shared an innate understanding that saw them dominate the first half.

The midfield three of Tom, Eddie and Dave bossed the match as they spread the ball well to the pacey Veras wings, as both Alex and Andre found early success on their flanks.

And despite a variety of chances it took till the 40th minute for the Veras to make the breakthrough they so richly deserved.

Jones’ monster throws had been wreaking havoc in the Submarine defensive ranks all afternoon and it was from a long throw that a goal mouth scramble saw the ball break to Veras’ left winger Alex who dispatched his chance with clinical low drive.

The Veras started brightly in the second half as Oli was put through time and again by Andre, Tom and Alex, but failed to capitalise on his opportunities.

But it was from a corner that Jones forced Submarine to concede, that a superb delivery from Andre found Christopher at the back post who dispatched a venomous volley back across the keeper and into the bottom corner.

Submarine were dealt a farcical life-line when the ball bounced up and hit Veras right back on the hand and a penalty was awarded.

Someone scored and it lead to a brief period of Submarine pressure during which time Ben was called upon to make a string of solid saves.

Mike and Edu quickly regained control of their territory and the pressure was short-lived as the Veras were awarded their own hand-ball pen.

Dave Romain stepped up and with more than a whiff of Cruyff’s famous pass-pen he stroked the ball cunningly against the post sending the keeper the wrong way and giving the on-rushing Oli an empty net to slot into.

The Veras were denied a clear cut pen when Andre flicked a shot goal ward only to have it groped away from the goal, but despite the sheepish defender’s scant denials the ref refused to award the peg.

The Veras usual transcendental style wasn’t in evidence in for the first 20 minutes. As Good Mixer fashioned a series of good chances with only last ditch tackles and solid saves keeping the scorers untroubled.

But the pressure eventually told as the Mixer number 4 slid a nice through ball to some on-rushing rude-boy who desposited it neatly in to the bottom corner.

It took the goal to spark The Veras into life — who suddenly became the team they can be. Passes began to find their targets and Veras debutant Dave playing at left-back began to link up with Johnny Erdman to provide a fruitful outlet down the Veras left.

While a battling Dave Romain broke up wave after wave of Good Mixer attacks.

The Veras were denied a stonewall penalty when Oli Jones showed the Good Mixer left-back a pair of clean heals and superbly defined buttocks, spinning past him on the half way line and making a beeline for the goal before an industrial challenge five yards into the penalty area brought him down. Only for the freekick to be given perplexingly out of the box.

It was of little consequence as The Veras were soon on terms after Jones chased down a lost cause back-heeling it to Timmy who spread the ball to Dave Romain who jinked and bussled his way through two tackles to the byline before sliding the ball into Dan Sylvester who showed good strength to hold off two would-be tacklers and poke home at the near post.

Two minutes later The Veras went ahead when Romain picked up a perfectly weighted pass from Phil before casually playing in Oli who showed superb speed and chiseled abs to beat two Mixer defenders before sliding it in to Sylvester who netted again at the front post.

Under the floodlights the second half was nothing short of a battle as Good Mixer began to show some symptoms of teamwork, creating a few decent chances forcing three superb saves from Ben. While The Veras continued to punch holes in the Mixer defense, as Dan Sly peppered their penalty area with flick-ons as Jones and Fitch went close.

The Veras held out for a deserved 2-1 victory.

Outback scored seven goals which frankly I can’t be arsed to describe, mainly because I can’t remember what order they were scored in.

Dave Romain netted first for the Veras at 2-nil down. Battling to control a lose ball on the edge of the box, he curled a lucious dipping effort into the bottom right hand corner.

Al Fitch scored the Veras second at 5-1 with a powerful header before a snaking run and drilled finish from Johnny Erdman made it 6-3.

With 3 minutes to go Dan Slyvester showed a striker’s instinct as a ricocheting ball broke to him in the box to poke home.

A few late injuries left The Veras with a makeshift defence who performed admirably (despite the score) in conditions that were hardly conducive to the Veras free-flowing style. It was a true Sunday league match in every sense.

In that it was pretty shit.

And that’s all there really was to it — okay? Move on.

Two nil down in the first twenty minutes, a stooping header from Henry pulled one back for the Veras on the stroke of half-time before a sumptuous looping effort from Andre nestled in the top corner. A neat flick on from Eddie found Oli unmarked in the box who finished from an acute angle to make it 3-2 to the Veras.

But as time wilted away The Veras were caught out by a deflected cross to the back post which a diving Sylvester did well to even get a hand to, before a skidding shot bounced fortunately into the path of the Dublin number 4 who slotted it home. Sparking histrionic and vaguely inappropriate celebrations.

The Veras initially took a while to get back into their stride after an extended festive break with Dublin bossing the opening exchanges. And  just it was starting to look like The Veras were beginning to get a foot-hold in the game they conceded their first goal from a well-judged through ball which was flukily converted by the Dublin number 9, who scuffed the ball up and into the far post, leaving stand-in keeper Eddie with no chance.

The Veras were in disarray, and they promptly  conceded an unfortunate second from a ricocheted clearance, which fell kindly into the path of the Dublin winger who tucked it away boringly.

It seemed as if it took the two-goal deficit to exact a calm over some of the Veras, because from that moment on they controlled a lot of the play.

Hugh’s deftness of touch combined with Al’s no-nonsense work ethic began to tell in the middle of the pitch, while wingers Andre and Johnny Erdman provided much need penetration down the wings and it wasn’t long before a period of Veras pressure got its just rewards.

A neat move down the left and some brilliant individual skill from Andre allowed him to get to the byline before chipping a delightfully flighted cross to the back stick to find a charging Henry Thomas who bust a gut to get into the box and nodded past the annoying Dublin keeper, who really was a clart, easily.

Buoyed by the last ten minutes of the first half The Veras came out with renewed intensity in the 45, as Sylvester and Eddie swapped positions.

Phil was dominating in the air at the back and the defensive unit began to look more together. The long balls that had been missing their targets in the first half were hitting the wings.

It was Andre cutting in the from the right who knicked The Veras equaliser. Drifting in off the flank, he meandered like a fast-flowing estuary of the Seine, almost culturally, past the feckless tackles of the Dublin defenders before curling a 22-yard dream into the top right-hand corner of the goal.

The Veras were back on terms and determined to capitalise on their momentum. Eddie who put in a sturdy performance deputising in goal was equally effective up-front in the second half, getting amongst the Dublin defenders, and it was an astute flick-on from him which fell into the path of Oli Jones who coolly slammed it past the out-rushing keeper to take the Veras into the lead.

And that was it really, apart from the bit when Dublin scored two goals and won the match, but you know — they barely counted.

Manager Sylvester was contemplative in defeat, “That was fucking shit,” he philosophised.

Verasmash

The Veras’ roller-coaster start to the season continued this Sunday as they bounced back from a 3-1 defeat last week with a consummate demolition of the Longwall Lions at Market Road.

Oli Jones opened the scoring with an improved toe poke and Rob Yates doubled the Vera’s lead as half-time approached after some sustained pressure. Longwall pulled one back with a looping effort from range bang on the halftime whistle. Only for The Veras to restore the gap after the break with a header from Dan Slyvester from a set play before debutant Carl Peters volleyed home a deserved fourth.

Longwall pulled one back before a Johnny Erdman brace either side of a Longwall consolation put the game to bed.

The Veras were bolstered before the match by the return of former first team keeper and part time Collin Farrell look-alike Raph Warner, stepping out of retirement to don the gloves.

Oli Jones was back early, albeit against doctor’s advice, from the horrific chipped hipbone injury he suffered just three weeks ago. And it was Jones who opened the scoring after the Veras dominated the initial exchanges.

A sumptuously scythed ball over the top from Peters at right back  found Jones in the channel who managed to poke home despite an awkward bounce and the keeper bearing down on him.

The Veras were in complete control with new centre midfield pairing Al Fitch and Yates bossing proceedings while Henry Thomas and Erdman caused havoc down the wings.

The Veras pressure continued to tell, as they netted a second on 30 minutes. A Johnny Erdman corner was met powerfully by Peters who was only denied by a superb far-post save. From the resultant corner Peters was once again involved, heading superbly back across goal for Yates to leap heroically at the far post and bury the chance.

Two should have been three soon after, Jones chasing down a lost cause managed to cross the ball into Slyvester who, with the net begging, lashed the ball over the bar.

And it seemed Longwall might be let back in after a bald midfielder who might have been number six but which ultimately is unimportant, let fly a speculative bouncing effort which crept underneath the crossbar.

The first half started much the same as the first. Continuing his rich vain of form which has seen him score five in his last five games Johnny Erdman was giving the Longwall right back the kind terrorising only several months of intensive therapy might see him recover from.

If you have any problems just give me a shout.

Cheers,

Oli.