The Veras FC

Angus Deayton isn’t a man unfamiliar with the sting of ignominy, but he suffered probably his greatest public humiliation this weekend, as his Submarine side were torn apart by a rampant Veras team 10 – 2 in the Quarter Final of the Divisional Musical Associations Cup.

Submarine had the hilarious temerity to even go ahead early on, before a quick-fire Oli Jones hat-trick turned the tables. Submarine got a goal back from a well-worked freekick, and threatened to draw level, with only the goal keeping heroics of Tarn Willers and some last ditch defending keeping them out.

But Veras were in no mood to fanny about: A beautifully flighted Andre Lazos corner found Barney Thomas at the front stick who buried his header, before the two linked up again for a mirror image goal from the other corner, putting the Veras 5 – 2 up at halftime.

The Veras’ pressure was unremitting in the second half, as Submarine utterly capitulated under an onslaught of Veras’ attacks. Not so much shooting fish in a barrel as shooting lemmings as they jump off a cliff: if you miss, they’re still going to die. Tenuous metaphors aside, the Veras were irresistible in the second half with Thomas rounding off his man of the match performance by completing his hat-trick; Jones netted two more to take his tally to 14 goals in his last five games, while Tommy Fyans and Dave Romain completed the bludgeoning with a goal apiece.

Veras started the match strongly, before a well struck Submarine shot on the edge of the Veras’ box found the bottom corner.

Lazos picked up the first of his half-a-dozen assists for the day 5 minutes later, sliding in Jones who left the keeper with no chance hitting a crisp drive into the bottom right hand corner.

And Veras were ahead two minutes later as Johnny Erdman, playing in the hole, slipped a through ball to Jones who dummied the keeper, before firing home from an acute angle into an empty net.

Jones completed his hat-trick five minutes later, after some sumptuous interplay in midfield culminated with a rasping drive from Erdman which the Submarine keeper could only parry into the path of an on-rushing Jones to tap home.

Submarine then had their best spell of the game putting the stout Veras defence under pressure for the first time in the match. A shocking decision from the referee gave Submarine a freekick on the edge of the area, for what was quite clearly a superb challenge.

Willers did superbly to palm the resulting freekick onto the post, only for it to drop to a Submarine forward to dispatch the rebound.

Willers was there again to save from a goal mouth scramble two minutes later, before Duncan Meadows cleared off the line from the follow up.

The Veras were in devastating form going forward with Al Fitch providing the anchor in midfield, while Thomas pulled the strings, playing in Romain and Lazos on the wings who looked dangerous every time they got the ball.

The Veras took control of the game as the half wore on, Romain created a great chance for Jones to get his forth, only for the keeper to save with his face from close range.

From the resulting corner, Lazos fired a ball to the front stick to Thomas, who, stepping away from his man, sailed through the air to meet the ball with a bullet header which found the top corner.

Two minutes later Lazos and Thomas repeated their routine from the opposite corner with a carbon copy cross and header ending with the same result, leaving the Veras three goals to the good at halftime.

The second half started where the first left-off (as is traditional). The Veras’ football was utterly irresistible, as the midfield scythed through Submarine at will, while a rock solid back four disassembled any semblance of a Submarine attack.

The Veras’ fearsome centre-back Tommies: Derbyshire and Fyans, who have forged a classic partnership this season, were winning everything in the air, while the outlet play of fullbacks Meadows, Dan Swimer and Darren Whitehead opened up space all over the pitch for the Veras’ attacks.

It was only a matter of time before the Veras extended their lead. With Lazos once again the catalyst, picking up yet another assist, whipping in a corner which found Fyans who dispatched a venomous volley from eight yards out.

Three minutes later, Duncan played in Jones on the right wing who crossed to Thomas, who did superbly to control the ball from behind him, swivel and dispatch a drive into the bottom corner.

Thomas returned the favour playing in Jones for his fourth goal two minutes later, floating a lobbed through ball which Jones dispatched on the rise.

Dave Romain, in scintillating form on the wing, whipped in a cross for the Vera’s ninth goal five minutes later, as Erdman nodded down for Jones who was left with a simple finish to net his fifth.

Jones was in again two minutes later, latching on to a perfectly weighted through ball from Fitch; a last ditch Submarine tackle served only to leave it on a plate for Romain who rifled home a thoroughly deserved goal to bring up the double figures.

The Veras display is sure to have fellow quarter finalists quaking in their boots, especially considering Submarine have beaten a number of the league’s top teams left in the draw.

A glorious day that will live long in the memory of Veras new and old.

Erdman for England manager? It’s certainly alliterative enough.

The Veras slumped to a forlorn 7-4 defeat against Outback at the revamped Hackney Marshes as The Veras famous battling spirit appeared to have been murked on the murder mile en-route to the match.

Outback scored seven goals which frankly I can’t be arsed to describe, mainly because I can’t remember what order they were scored in.

Dave Romain netted first for the Veras at 2-nil down. Battling to control a lose ball on the edge of the box, he curled a lucious dipping effort into the bottom right hand corner.

Al Fitch scored the Veras second at 5-1 with a powerful header before a snaking run and drilled finish from Johnny Erdman made it 6-3.

With 3 minutes to go Dan Slyvester showed a striker’s instinct as a ricocheting ball broke to him in the box to poke home.

A few late injuries left The Veras with a makeshift defence who performed admirably (despite the score) in conditions that were hardly conducive to the Veras free-flowing style. It was a true Sunday league match in every sense.

In that it was pretty shit.

And that’s all there really was to it — okay? Move on.

The Veras staged an epic Cup comeback at Regents Park this Sunday, heroically fighting back from 2-0 down to lead Dublin Castle 3-2 with only 15 minutes to go… only to balls it all up and lose 4-3.

Two nil down in the first twenty minutes, a stooping header from Henry pulled one back for the Veras on the stroke of half-time before a sumptuous looping effort from Andre nestled in the top corner. A neat flick on from Eddie found Oli unmarked in the box who finished from an acute angle to make it 3-2 to the Veras.

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